Saturday, January 22, 2011

Well played...

You know, I like to think of myself as someone who will always be there for a friend, even when things get hard. I'm finding myself talking my things out of alot lately. I over-think things and I allow myself to get caught up in drama I could easily avoid.

I hate to think that I don't want to do anymore, shouting 'til my face turns blue, advising until I choke on my words, thinking until my brain literally shuts off. I can only talk to a wall for SO long. Then I feel like I should take a gigantic sledgehammer to the wall..but we all know that doesn't solve anything.

See, I talk to myself all the time, so I do, in fact, know how annoying and repetitive I can be. No need to point it out, Wall. But hey, it'd be nice if maybe you can stop pretending that I'm getting through when I know you're just doing your own thing on the side you keep turned from me.

So, this is what I have to say to you, Wall.

I'm so close to being done. I can't do this forever.

I love having family that actually cares about me enough to tell me that I'M TALKING TO A BRICK WALL AND LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT.

Oh well. Life happens..I just need to get used to it and man up a bit lol.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy(?) New Year

Wow. It's the new year and I'm wondering how it'll work. I'm turning sixteen in February, which means...I get to drive(more) and get a job. We're starting a new curriculum for school this year, and let me tell you, it looks great. I'm excited but also concerned. The LDS prom is on March 19th, which means, I can go if I want. But do I want to? I'll have lots of choices to make, good and bad, but hopefully, I can grow to understand myself even better. This year has opened my eyes quite a bit to how I feel about myself and old friends, new friends.

I know what I want in a friend and now, I'm not afraid to say it.

Anyway, with the epiphany I've had this past year, what will I learn and discover in the new year?
*crosses fingers* Let's hope it's good.