Friday, November 21, 2014

But I've Got A Black Space, Baby, And I'll Leave it Blank.

So, again, I suck at blogging regularly. I don't even have an excuse this time.

But a lot has gone on. Not a whole lot of BIG things, but a lot of little things that can add up. Little things. Long work days, blossoming emotions, irritation, confusion. Every day things, I suppose.

It's funny, I don't even know if there's something that I can be like 'I am dealing with this big thing right now, it's the biggest thing in my life right now.' I mean, I have my job but I actually enjoy what I do, all drama aside.

Just today, the work family and I were all in...questionable moods, I suppose, but we actually were able to enjoy each other for the most part today. It was actually a lot of fun, despite the fact that we were all there to work.

Work is a big part of my life, that's just how it goes. But it's not a huge burden to me. It lifts plenty of my own problems and gives me people who have spent almost a full year around me, so they have learned what's my normal and when something's off. And I have received nothing but support and opportunity. So, in that sense, I'm very appreciative. My job is, in reality, the very least of any of the small problems I might have. Thank goodness!

No, if I REALLY had to settle on something that's been a real thorn in my side, it would have to be dealing with emotions and the entire illogical drama behind them. If I'm mad at someone, I want a good reason. If I'm happy, I don't really need a reason for it, but there almost always is a reason for it. Then the deeper emotions decide to jump into the fray and screw it all up.

No, I have no idea why I'm head over heels for that dude. It's irritating, frankly. But it also is fun. Then irritating again. My mind wanders a whole lot more than I would like it to and I can't seem to decide why I feel this way or what brought it on. It's just there. I kinda hate it.

I also kind of love it. UGH. Why can't I just go back to never leaving my house and minding my own dang business?

What? What's that you say? I'm an ad-ult? What is that? Ew. I didn't sign up for this.

The good thing about all this crazy stuff that really isn't that crazy in the first place is that I'm still really young. I can afford to let my life take a slow route for a little while. Doesn't mean I like it or I don't panic when I don't see things happening for myself like I see for everyone else.

Granted, I seem to be an idiot and aim for things I can't have until a certain amount of time has passed. Good job, me.

Anyway. I literally had no point for this blog tonight. I never know how to end the posts when I didn't actually have a real reason to say something.