Wednesday, November 29, 2017

*insert vague title for 2017*

I'm not going to write about the bad this time. I'm not ready.

But, I will write about the hopeful things.

I've been incredibly lucky to have the job that I do. The work is not my favorite, but I do enjoy my team, the opportunity to learn and grow, the encouragement. Currently, I am waiting with bated breath for some news that, I'll be vague about until I have specific answers.

I bought a journal, a 5 year, 1 question a day journal. So I have a physical manifestation of where I am, where I've been, and where I can go. I'm very excited for that, I'll start it on the first of the year, but, today's question is this : What five words describe your mood?

Tired, anxious, sad, overwhelmed, but most importantly, hopeful.

Hopeful that I'll get a good night's sleep here soon, hopeful that I'll prove my anxiety wrong some day. Hopeful that I won't be so sad about the things that I am sad about. Hopeful that I'll rise above the overwhelming wave because, I'm doing more than treading water right now. I'm surviving.

Also, hopeful for hope's sake.

There's a light at the end of this tunnel, as there always has been and forever will be. The only dead ends are in my mind. I've gotten this far, I'm not going to stop.

I'm going to continue surrounding myself around people that truly love me, that support me, that allow me to support them, and encourage me. My village is larger than I ever could have asked and I am truly grateful for it.

I have had people come out of the woodwork for the last few weeks, to pick me up at a low point, to talk some sense into me, or even give me silent support. I can't let them down by giving in to the dark feelings that sometimes linger. I'm better than that, they know it, and I want to show them that they inspire that confidence in me,

Thank you, for reading, for supporting me, for the quiet acknowledgements. I'll be okay and this time, I believe it.

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